Years Later ...

How can i defy...
that toughest chunk, the lie...

It pains while i see...
that i can't set myself free...

It's excruciating to believe...
that i'm left with no purpose to live..

You arrived when i never thought...
you left when you were all i sought...

Seems just like yesterday...
words were so less, had so much to say...

I never knew that this anguish would grow...
never believed my life would go so slow..

You said, it wasn't the manner it should have...
was it not transcribed, how else could it have...

My mind asks me why, what made you ruminate so..
when you meant the world, why did i let you go..




--
hamza ..

What Hurts Even More ...

Delhi- The place that belonged to the royal people of this nation that
we all are a part of. Delhi, that was once known for the good people
with good hearts and charming personalities. Delhi, which was once
termed "Dilli, Dil Walon ki"...

The capital city of the nation that has had a great history to speak
of has been time and again pin pointed for the wrong doings from the
people of this great place. .

Delhi , the capital city during the rule of Pandavas, and the main
commercial hub during the Mughal Rule, was a place that has seen so
many royal families and prestigious and valorous people have lived
there for centuries..

But,

Today, Delhi is nothing less than a massacre ground.. A place that has
become far worse than the Jallianwala bagh.. Or I can say, the
Jallianwala Bagh massacres are happening on a daily basis there ...
the city of pride, in a nation where women are worshiped and men are
devotees of peace and prosperity...
Here, the torch bearers of peace are savaging the goddesses in bright
daylight what men of valor would kill themselves dreaming, leave alone
thinking ...

Women in every religion have a sacred place and they are looked upon
with high respect.. No religion has ever preached hatred against
women... The backbone of a family, who is born with incredible
patience, who is raised in modesty and humbleness, who supports her
father, mother during tough times, who guides her little brothers when
they go astray and who becomes a reason why her elder brother becomes
a responsible one...

The Delhi incident is a big jolt to all these affections and all these
delicate emotions ..
Six sick heads become a reason why an innocent girl, the only hope of
her parents is lying on a death bed facing the grim fate that no
woman would want to face and no thinking human can imagine of ...
It is hard to believe but this is the reality of this peace loving
nation, this is the reality of the people who at one instant are die
hard patriots when it comes to talking about the nation and at the
other instant they commit sins of utmost disgust that sends shivers
down the spine ...

India as a whole has changed in it's outlook towards humanity and this
is a direct outcome of the way the progress has gone ..
We might take a march , organize rallies and spit venoms at the
sinners but nobody cares about the sin.. which is still there ...
still there .. still there ...

the sin is right amongst us ... the people who take out processions
don't know that this won't stop as such...
it could be anyone, it could be you, it could be me.. it is all of us
... we have forgotten the culture and love the nation was once famous
for ... patriotism is not only just standing up and talking but
implementing over the things we say in the right spirit and for the
best of the nation ...
criminals are born and criminals die but the sin ... it has to be
killed before it kills us ...

In my first ever travel by the train, a lady in Delhi, asked my mum if
we were going to banglore.. On knowing that we were heading to the
same destination, she requested a guy to switch his place with her
daughters just because our compartment had a woman, my mum ... the
reason was clear ... Men are feared ... Our daughters and Sisters are
not safe ...

We have become animals ... Brainless and Evil ...

God Bless this Nation ...


--
hamza ..

Days Later ...

It hasn't been more than four months ago .. The beautiful days that I
had lived have passed ...
Starting with a thank you over the thoughts I shared, I have had a
flurry of beautiful conversations ..

It wasn't about days .. It was about those moments that were too
precious for me to let go..
Those beautiful thoughts used to make me smile endlessly .. because
they mattered ...
The innocent thoughts, that they had ... The curiosity with which they
used to ask ... The good things they made me teach ... I remember
everything ... Every bit of it ...

There are memories that would never fade away.. Not atleast for me ...
Because they are a treasure ... A life that I have lived ... A smile
that I have had ... Tears that emerged over their joy and pain ...
Everything ...

Being an optimist is what I have learnt from them.. And this is why I
am alive despite the fact that my heart and my soul are already dead..
A state that the medics call: Biological Death...

I might be living a life nobody ever would want to live and this is in
contrast to what it was some time ago... People were jealous of how
happy I was from inside, and now they pity on how I pretend to be
one...

Its not the end of the road for me, because the day I stop breathing
is the day I would stop hoping.. And this goes around for everything I
do...

Lessons and Lesions are all part of life.. But, what is important is
the word called : Hope...

Its a strong word, a really strong word for the weak and the broken...
Let's keep this Hope alive ...
Let's Smile ... And Let's Stay Green once again..

:)

--
hamza ..

Sleepless Nights ...

Its 3o' clock and I'm not able to sleep. A possible reason could be
that mum scolded me for not getting proper sleep. Maybe that's true
because I haven't been sleeping properly for quite some time now...
There were days when sleeping was more than fun. It was the most
delightful thing I used to do. Sleep and forget the world...
But these days, not getting proper sleep is becoming more of a worry
for everyone than the way I'm idling my time out ...

Sleeping around 4 in the morning and then waking up at 9 or 10 is not
what my life was ...
Take last year, this day we were celebrating Eid and the first blast
was about to occur... But, I was sleeping peacefully at this time..
Probably in a beautiful dream in a fairyland somewhere far away and
holding hands with the prettiest fairy in it ...

But now, I hardly dream because I hardly sleep ... Even though I know
what beautiful moments I could get as soon as I fall asleep, yet I
find this Madam Sleep so far away from me ...

Cold weather is supposed to be a boost to the sleepy souls like me,
but I somehow feel like abandoned, dumped, ditched ...

But then, I fear... That fairyland too has shortcomings ... I don't
want to feel bad for having seen them ...
those lands are not meant for me ... Neither any fairy is meant to
hold me in reality ...
Dreams cast empty shadows upon this life, and this is probably why I
fear going to sleep ...

--
hamza ..

The Word ... You ..

An open book..
yet a stranger ..
That's what I am..
to the world around..

I thought I knew..
you more than everyone..
Yet I know nothing..
beyond the word you...

I shared I cared...
as I got what I gave..
But still I lose out...
on the word called you...

I wait as the sun fades..
to the moment it rises again..
Yet I find it impossible to..
wait for the word called you...

I write to write the felt..
with ink and paper but..
Just as I seat myself down ..
I stop at this word called.. you ..


--
hamza ..

You were always special ... My Destiny...

Each day that begins ... Begins with your name
every morning the first thing that comes to my mind is that smiling
face of that still, your only memory left with me. Every day I wake up
with a hope that I would be able to have a glimpse of yours.

Each morning when that wheeler departs and I look on helplessly, my
heart sinks a little, as the first phase of my quest drowns amid the
hustle and haste. At that moment, the only thing that comes in my mind
is to fling myself in the water channel that flows across and put an
end to the ever growing misery.

But, the next thought, what if I see you there, comes in my mind and I
back off. Then it all depends on the scenario as to how the day
progresses and how much I try for the quest to accomplish.

But today was a special day.....

I had my share of that glimpse and went back in only to find that my
destiny was following me right through and stood right in front of me.
A sudden rush of adrenaline and a hard thumping of the heart was all
that happened. And all I could do at that instant was to close my eyes
and pray silently for those eyes to remain as beautiful and me in them
forever.

Amen there and Amen here again for the purity of thoughts and for that
pure bond.

May 2, 2011


--
hamza ..

Thoughts within those thoughts ..

Sometimes ... All we want is to sit all alone in a corner and think
about whether the things that were important for us yesterday deserved
so much importance or ... We just gave them too much thought
unnecessarily...

And the heart says ... "Yes, they were really the best things ... Had
they not been there, you wouldn't have been what you are now..."

Sometimes somebody's prayers become so special, that they put you to a
course you could only dream about ...

Rare.. Precious.. Pure.. Dreams.. Thoughts.. Prayers.. Blessings..
Love.. Life .. Us ..


--
hamza ..

A Deep Feeling ...

I remember when I started this blog ... I had someone great on my mind
... Khola Ma'am .. And I used to write in her remembrance ..
I felt she wasn't well and soon I heard about her ... and the disease
she was fighting her life with ... God took her away from me ...
Forever ...

And soon it drifted ... To someone who was equally nice and pretty
interesting ... And someone who made me realize what life is ...

So innocent... So sweet tongued ... That I could hardly resist talking
for hours ... About the little things, the little but strange feelings
... The thoughts that came right from the deepest corner of the heart
... The honest gestures ... And a tinge of crude thinking ...

And I ... Somehow used to get those strange flashes of thoughts about
their well being, their presence, every little thing ... Just like I
shared a common string of life with them ...

And at the moment I remember that festival of colors ... The dream I
had and exactly what happened the next day ... Every bit of it was
like a rewind of the dream ... And when they fell down upon the thorns
... My heart sinked, for I knew it was coming ... And I could have
done something ... And that they said I should have ...
But, in this ... I always found myself helpless ... Wish I could have
... If only ...

And today, when I know something's not good... The ship is not steady
... I am helpless once again ... I'm running about the lawn ... Up and
down ... Thinking .. Praying ... Yet, I'm supposed to mind my own
business ... I'm not allowed to think ... I'm not allowed to say ...
I'm not allowed to ask ...
I asked Him for a glimpse ...
He took them away from me ...
God made them walk away ... And I ... I'm helpless as always ...

--
hamza ..

Autumn In Kashmir

Wrapped in a blanket, with the laptop in my lap.. I think about my childhood, and the way I spent it... 

When I was a kid, about five or six years old, I liked spring season the most. The reason was simple... it was neither hot nor too cold … the perfect season for me to play in the sun and not feel exhausted at all…

Spring in Kashmir was the only time when nobody asked why I was out there in the sun or why I was playing so much...

This continued till Eighth grade until I was drifted to books forever …

Tuition…School…Home… Tuition …. School … home …

This was my life … yet spring was always the favorite because it meant more work and less exertion...

Four beautiful years in Jammu and I forgot Kashmir altogether … it was something I had never expected to happen...

Summers were hot and hotter … winters were cold but not colder … and then there was this monsoon … the month of humidity and sweat... it was the most irritating month … but what made it beautiful in the end was something very special …

After four long years of this experience … finally the degree was over and I came back … back to Kashmir... Which now is altogether new to me .. I feel alienated with the traditions and customs …

Father and me share different views about today … He still fears talking to armed men and I do it casually and without hesitation … He won’t let me out after 8o’ clock and there I used to be out even by 2 at night …

And as I land back to Kashmir and the summer is about to end .. I see the beauty of this place … something I had never enjoyed before …

The Autumn season …

 

While driving alongside my School … I see the mighty Chinars and their golden rusty leaves… the road was full of them … and instantly there was a flashback… with me playing in that heap of leaves and that characteristic rusty smell they give… the crumbling sound that the leaves used to make and that laughter that resounded when someone used to fall on them .. magical …

Autumn was never so cherished before, as I do now … just because things we tend to take for granted are actually the best things in the world …

Why… because, some things remain beautiful if they remain untouched …

Just as Autumn was for me …

If You Remember Me...

When I come to the end of my journey
And I travel my last weary mile
Just forget if you can, that I ever frowned
And remember only the smile

Forget unkind words I have spoken
Remember some good I have done
Forget that I ever had heartache
And remember I've had loads of fun

Forget that I've stumbled and blundered
And sometimes fell by the way
Remember I have fought some hard battles
And won, ere the close of the day

Then forget to grieve for my going
I would not have you sad for a day
But in summer just gather some flowers
And remember the place where I lay

And come in the shade of evening
When the sun paints the sky in the west
Stand for a few moments beside me
And remember only my best



--
hamza ..

If You Believe ...

You are strong ..
when you take your grief and teach it to smile.

You are loving ..
when your own pain does not blind you to the pain of others.

You are wise ..
when you know the limits of your wisdom.

You are alive ..
when tomorrow's hope means more to you than yesterday's mistake.

You are growing ..
when you know what you are but not what you will become.

You are free ..
when you are in control of yourself and do not wish to control others.

You are honorable ..
when you find your honor is to honor others.

You are generous ..
when you can take as sweetly as you can give.

You are humble ..
when you do not know how humble you are.

You are thoughtful ..
when you see me just as I am and treat me just as you are.

You are merciful ..
when you forgive in others the faults you condemn in yourself.

You are beautiful ..
when you don't need a mirror to tell you.

You are rich ..
when you never need more than what you have.

You are you ..
when you are at peace with who you are not.


--
hamza ..

The Pond Of Milk ...

Once there was a king who told some of his workers to dig a pond. Once the pond was

dug, the king made an announcement to his people saying that one person from each

household has to bring a glass of milk during the night and pour it into the pond. So,

the pond should be full of milk by the morning. After receiving the order, everyone

went home.

One man prepared to take the milk during the night. He thought that since everyone

will bring milk, he could just hide a glass of water and pour inside the pond. Because it

will be dark at night, no one will notice. So he quickly went and poured the water in the

pond and came back. In the morning, the king came to visit the pond and to his 

surprise the pond was only filled with water! What has happened is that everyone was

thinking like the other man that "I don't have to put the milk, someone else will do it."

When it comes to help someone who's in need, do not think that others will

take care of them. Rather, it starts from you, if you don't do it, no one else will do it. So,

change yourself to the way of righteousness and that will make the difference... 

peace and blessings .. 

--

hamza ..

A Prayer ...

I said a prayer for you today
And know God must have heard.
I felt the answer in my heart
Although He spoke no word!

I didn't ask for wealth or fame
(I knew you wouldn't mind).
I asked him to send treasures
Of a far more lasting kind!

I asked that He be near you
At the start of each new day;
To grant you health and blessings
And friends to share your way!

I asked for happiness for you
In all things great and small.
But it was for His loving care
I prayed the most of all!

--
hamza ..

It Is Like This...

That I ask my God
What is my tragic destiny..?

If I go round this whole world
Stung with this bitter pain?
That I cannot kill
Not even with a thousand bottles of wine
It is like this...

Expecting to see them again
In the clouds of glory
Seeking their light
That shines eternal...

And…that I…crying
Tears of diamonds
Embraced so deep
By this love so strong
So unique..
That glows inside me like a red hot fire...

That does not…cannot… turn me lose
From this terrible sadness
So very dispirited and empty..
That stalks my every breath…always
It is like this...

That I live my life..
With this heavy, sorrowful pain
Of and absent, faraway lover
Since the day they left
They, the much adored..
When they flew high… into the sky
Beneath the wee wings..
Of two tiny ascending angles...

--
hamza ..

dreams ...

Where the mountains touch the sky
Where poets DREAM, where eagles fly

A secret place above the crowds
Just beneath marshmallow clouds

Lift your eyes to a snowy peak
And see the soon- to- be we seek

Whisper DREAMS and let them rise
To the mountains old and wise

Climbers climb, it's time to try
Where the mountains touch the sky

Take me there. Oh take me now
Someway, Someday, Somewhere, Somehow

Where the ocean meets the sky
Where mermaid dance and seagulls fly

A place in DREAMS I know so well
The sea inside a single shell

Far across the living sea
A pale blue possibility

Beyond the castles made of sand
Tomorrow in a small child's hand

Only DREAMERS need apply
Where the ocean meets the sky

Take me there. Oh take me now
Someway, Someday, Somewhere, Somehow

Where the forests reach the sky
Men are equal and doves still fly

No thorns of war, a perfect rose
This is where the green grass grows

Out beyond the crystal stream
Like Dr. King I have a DREAM

Imagine such a goal in sight
For red and yellow, black and white

Whisper now, let the DREAM begin
It's time to trust the truth within

This is where we seek and find
A gift in being colorblind

Dream on Dreamers, hopes are high
Where the forests reach the sky

Take me there. Oh take me now
Someway, Someday, Somewhere, Somehow

Now, listen close, the future calls
"Build your bridges and tear down walls! "

For time has taught and so it seems
Realities are born of ..dreams..

if ever you knew ..

--
hamza ..

Words, Silence & Life ...

falling short of words is but natural .. 

when we wish to express the needful ... 

the beauty isn't in expressing it .. 

it lies in the "silent mode" that prevails...

for, the ones the words are meant for .. 

should come to know themselves what they are... 

--

hamza ..

Understanding Things ...

ever thought what a certain decision you take can put you in ??

Just like Shakespeare's hero, Hamlet, pondered, "to be or not to be", at times, we are unable to decide on choices and end up feeling torn and confused.

Yes, this is true .. sometimes we do conclude upon certain things in a manner that we feel is right, at that very moment and after the thing's been implemented... we feel we could have done better .. or that the decision wasn't actually the right one at that moment .. 

In our everyday life, we take lots and lots of decisions .. on every subject.. about every moment .. about every step .. 

our whole world depends upon the decisions we take, the choices we make and thus ... we live solely on the path we choose ... 

Quite often we take decisions in haste ... and as i always say ... haste makes waste .. 

all we do in the process is lose our own self .. our loved ones ... our priorities ... 

our ambitions ... 

the things we might have foreseen, can turn blurred or can absolutely vanish out of our sight with one wrong untimely hasteful decision .. 

It is an advice ... or probably a experienced advice from a very revered scholar .. that once we think about taking a decision .. we should first put ourselves in the shoes of the ones who might be affected by our decision ... 

it isn't a hit and trial policy ... 

thee are sentiments ... there are beliefs .. and there are the divine interventions .. that are connected and intertwined so closely .. that breaking even a single knot from them can rip the whole thing apart .... 

consider a string of pearls ... until the knot is tightly and securely made, we live in a constant fear of dropping all the pearls ... but the one decision to check on the knot can make us feel relaxed and comfortable .. 

it's not just about taking the right decisions .. it is about believing in what choices we make ... 

if we choose wisely .. we won't lose a thing ... but how can we do that .... 

simple ... ask someone who has been in such a situation .. "for a ready made and experienced advice" .. or ... ponder on what pros and cons it can have ... 

One Small Decision ... And A Lifetime To Either Smile ... Or Cry ... 

Think About It ... 

When It All Ends ...

once upon a time there was a child ... humble, meek and a little shy ..
this world seemed so little to bother him .. he lived each day.. on a
daily basis ..
life was magical for him ... because he cared so little ... so little
about it ..

"pay no heed to the things that might bother you and those things
would never bother you at all.. "
this was the motto he had in mind .. and yes .. he was right .. unique
in his own ways ..

one day he realised that the world was a beautiful place ... the
worldly things suddenly seemed to look fascinating for him ..
he was falling for something ,... something he had never ever felt he would ...

it's hard to believe in the abstract when we see the material is,
otherwise, beautiful ...
the realisations he had were incredible and yet he was from their reach..
he kept on visiting religious places, trying to find the right
spirit, the right path .. that could lead him to them ..
he tripped, he fell .. and yet he continued .. the journey .. all by
himself .. all alone ... in search of that one single power ..
in whose hands rests the world .. and to request him to grant him his wish ....

a handful of dreams, a bouquet full of wishes .. that's all he
possessed ... and those were all he wanted to see them turn to reality
..
he was left alone .. when he needed someone to hold him .. he was
trampled over when he wished to walk along ..

he was chosen when all doors were closed ... and he was trapped behind
one when the doors re-opened ..

but there was one good thing in this guy .. and that was .. his Lord
never left him alone ...
he could feel His presence .. whenever he saw solitude ... whenever
his eyes were moist ... and whenever the world turned it's back
towards him..

he kept going .. on and on .. wishing for something ..a promise he had
made .. that he had taken an oath ..
his job was to reach there .. along ... holding that hand ... that
hand he had promised to hold ..

he was trying to find ways to keep holding on ... revealing himself
slowly and steadily ..
cautious enough not to vomit out everything at once ...
he took time ... time enough to reach there ...


prayers ... prayers ... and prayers ...
those were all he had ... and he knew they would bear fruit ...
fruit ... not for him ... but for the one he had been doing it for ..

real treasure lies in what is done but not known ...
so abstract ... yet so real ..

but .....
he had to end it all .. keep away from that life.. . just to keep that
smile alive ...
just for the "sake of god" .... just for keeping that life safe..
which was once his only priority ..


Life -- a slit piece of cloth ...

--
hamza ..

Being A Stranger

for I was a stranger to this world ..

i cared and longed for the things that
never were meant for me here ..

my smile was the only thing
that kept me going in this strange land ..

i kept my foot on a marshy place
just to find out i was sinking within ..

a stranger as i was all my life to this
i found nobody beautiful and worth a smile ..

a helping hand is sometimes all we need
and when we reach the safe place ..

we forget this guy ..
the stranger forever ..

for I was a stranger to this world ..

--
hamza ..

Blurred world ..

Sometimes in a clear night
When everything is still
There is a wobble, a shiver
That the moon appears to have ..

The stars that arrange themselves
In all possible orientations
Somehow tend to lose symmetry
And they wobble, enlarge and contract...

Sometimes as we look up into
The dark night full of stars
We search, something, so hard
And find nothing more than the twinkling...

And sometimes when we see
The wobbling, the shivering of
This otherwise still moon ... Its nothing..
But a tear in our own eyes that just appeared...

--
hamza ..

Come Back ...

And sometimes I wish
I wish I had no heart..
For ever since I felt it,
you were it's part..

You came in at a time,
when I was nothing but blank..
and you smiled over me
filling joy, in that empty tank..

I longed to see you,
longed to hear you out..
a glimpse, a gesture and
conversations, flowing and stout

and then you left never to come back
never to come back to me..
and ever since I've been empty again,
oh please come and set me free ..

for you're missed,
missed like I'm missing..
like I'm missing
my own breath..

--
:(

One Day In Life ..

One day in life I apprehended this
that your presence was undeniably
all I ever required, and your smile
was the paradise that I longed to see..

One day I tried making things erroneous,
placing everything inoperative just to see
how you would do to craft it correct and
resolve the chaos that I had shaped ..

One day in life I tried to hold you
by your hand to feel the tenderness
that I never ever had felt prior to
so that I too could articulate I had one..

one day you called me unfamiliar
someone you never knew at all
and all I could do was get over it for
to let you go, It meant letting go my life ..

if only you knew what it meant
to hear you out, listen to you
then you would have known how ugly is
that very moment, in which you aren't there..

--
hamza ..

Life .. What Does It Mean To You ..

In our daily life, we all are familiar with this phrase: "Get A Life".
People quote this more often when they see others doing nothing or
something that apparently seems annoying. But it is usually quoted
upon us when we show discontent with what we possess, when we lament
about the things we are deprived of.
Everybody wants a comfortable life that has in it all the joy and
fervor to make it beautiful. I believe most of us want an affluent and
gratifying life that experiences fulfillment in every way. But, have
we ever questioned our own conscience as to what we exactly want from
our lives…? Do we really need to meander about in search of
fulfillment and contention…? Have we ever shown satisfaction about
what we have in hand and what we do not require? There are so many
questions that arise when we sit back and think over it. The answers
however, lie within us only.
I firmly deem that nearly everyone of us has an inborn want, a desire
to be useful to this world. We all are in a desperate hunt to know
about the actual reason of our subsistence. "Why were we sent here?"
is a question that every heart wants to decipher. We all want to know
if there is a purpose behind what we do. We want to believe that we
really are needed, and that the duties and responsibilities that we
execute in time are significant and required, and that they actually
do tot up for something. And don't we know, that on an average every
person is perhaps disgruntled with the way his or her life is heading.
There are innumerable number of questions that can come up as we wake
up each day and unfortunately, not many of them are answered as we go
back to sleep at night. Happiness, Reward, Ambitions and Desires,
there are so many of them. But still there is a belief, a firm belief
that the Divine has promised us each and every comfort we long for,
which is why we sleep comfortably knowing that most of our questions
still remain unanswered, and that our purpose of life still remains
unknown to us.
Living without purpose makes us pursue lots of never-ending rainbows
that only bring disappointment, distress, cynicism, a vision of
failure, lethargy, bareness, and in a gist, a total worthlessness.
Dreams that we all see, are a reason for our survival. We live just to
make those things happen and bring peace to not only ourselves, but
also to the ones we depend upon and the ones we see them for.
Too often in their nature, most people are not pleased with the
vocation they are in or with the job that they are doing. A very dear
friend of mine once quoted as we were in a restaurant and nagging over
what we were having, "Food on other people's plates always looks
tastier". This is true in every circumstance just because "the grass
always looks greener on the other side of the fence". Isn't it a true
fact?
People will always be in a constant want of something big, something
exciting even when they are living a life that is furnished with
everything they desired. This is what we call "ingratitude". Rather
than doing their obligation willingly and carefully as unto the
Divine, they yield to a spirit of covetousness. As a result, they
miss God's best for their lives and fail to see the blessings they
already have.
We belong to a culture that regrettably teaches and educates us to
crave and covet for those things that the people in our surrounding
possess and it is disdainfully being endorsed everywhere. We contrast
our statii, wealth, garments, takings, vehicles, and everything else
that we either possess or don't possess at all. The result… we are by
no means happy or satisfied with the kind of lives we live.
If this is where our thoughts are at, we will pursue these things as
well. And as a consequence, we try and find ways and means to better
what we already possess and gain what we don't have, be it honestly or
dishonestly.
We should be modest and true in ourselves and acknowledge the Divine's
assignment for our lives and then allow Him to exalt us in due time.
In gist, be content and allow God to use you as a sweet smelling
fragrance where you are at, which is the key to reach our answers.
Most of the times, people who come into this world live a life to
satisfy their own ends without giving
We need to ask ourselves, why am I discontent and dissatisfied? What
is going on in my life that is making me this way? Why am I not
making the most of my life? Are my priorities out of order? Am I
putting more time and energy into those areas that are very little
consequence? Should I be putting more time into my family and my
marriage and service to God?
The reason of our lives thus lives right there… within us… in the
voice of our own conscience…
We just need to believe… and see how peace prevails within us and in
the entire human race.

--
hamza ..

Life ..

sometimes i wish i could die at will

for the world is so confusing to me

and none could understand the need

the wishes, the desires that i have

all i wanted is a little compassion

and what i got is pure hatred and 

and endless loneliness and pain

and a thought... that ..

nobody can understand me .. nobody

--

hamza ..

And For A Smile...

Smile ... For the world around needs it, feels it and transpires it to
the next level of life !

I believe, that a smile can change the course of our lives, change the
paths of distress and shift us from the depths of darkness and
solitude to extreme business and union with the world ...

Isn't this what each of us wants ... To be busy and content in our
lives, and bring about life in a more preluding and immaculate manner
...

Yes, but all we require is a shoulder to lean upon when in distress
and a pat on our shoulder when we have accomplished a feat ... Or to
be precise, a smiling face to soothe us in every circumstance ...

Somewhere within me is
A lost smile of mine that's..
Struggling to break open the
Prison of darkness and apathy...

I wait for the salvation that
Would set me free from this..
Unending desire to overcome
My own flaws, my own insecurity...

For a smile that has vanished
I search hither in the deepest caves of..
Solitude and loneliness and
Comfort myself with a hope of it's return...

--
hamza ..

Perplexed ...

and what else can one do ..

when even in the best of intentions .. 

the most heartfelt prayers .. 

are being questioned .. 

do we need to prove our prayers .. 

or is silence yet a strong answer ?

--

hamza ..

Inspiration Lost..

there was a time when i knew that gesture..

every smile that was, was somewhere for me.. 

i lived in every moment, each time that passed..

because i was at peace, i had what i dreamt of... 

and the going was smooth, i was flying high..

soared over the clouds, with a sweet voice within... 

i was blessed, blessed, because my prayers were true...

i believed in everything, for my life was happy ... 

and i am today, broken but don't know why...

i live in nothingness and sorrow is my friend...

for those who i trusted, have abandoned me eternally..

and those who trusted me, i've left them way back... 

it is my fault... it is.. 

to have worshiped emptiness..   

--
hamza ..

The Anticipation ...

The angels had promised me life
My Lord had granted me peace
For the only wish that I had within
Broke apart losing the largest piece...

The time was as such so beautiful
Time when I was within the divinity
The clouds soared, the Sun shone
The darkness was nowhere in vicinity...

Life flowed like it was a stream
With every soul nearby me smiling
The heart was content in bliss
My dreams endless, anticipation piling...

For the words that were, were so clean
I knew not they cloaked nothing but emptiness
The words that left my ears wanting
Were silence and distress in togetherness...

And now as I stand with empty hands unto you
Waiting for something, a miracle to happen
And as I bend down my neck unto Him
I wait I wait for that what I know won't happen...

Mercy is all I anticipate from Him
For He knows what lies within everything
And He sees and foresees the times
He sure will have put forth ... something...

--
hamza ..

Life Without A Life...

It is said that the one who can wipe your tears away is the one who knows what they are worth.
Rightly so, it is a fact because someone who cares will never make you cry.

But, sometimes it happens that the one who cannot see you in pain becomes the cause for the eternal sting that pierces deep within. The reason…known only to this someone.
We wail in anguish and long for this someone to be a reason for our salvation, an anticipation that we tend to have when we know that this is only this person who could make the whole thing right again..

The most hurting thing in all this is when they don’t realise this and fail to remember what they mean to us. They forget that when they were in problems, they had us by their side...
They forget when they required us to deliver, we were there for them...
They forget that when they were hurt, we were there to comfort.
And they forget when we were a reason of their anger, we were the ones who pleaded and begged for forgiveness, something that we only do for someone who means everything to us...

And when they are about to leave, even if we are highly well versed, we find no word strong enough that could stop them and bring them back… and we silently see them go, with our eyes full of salt and our heart in absolute anticipation, that they would turn around for once and come back to us...

"Pain is inevitable, and joy is temporary."
It is a very old saying and the one who quoted this was not erroneous in the slightest. After all, joy lies in only a few things and pain can be had from everything, isn’t it?

But this soreness can be a blessing if we have somebody to share it with and it can become blight if we have nobody around while we face it.
Human nature explains that we are mutually dependent creatures who want to share everything with others, we cannot be too much mean to keep our joys to ourselves and we can never be too much angelic to digest our pain within ourselves.

Again, we come to this point that the pain could be reduced or it’s effect could be nullified if we share it with the ones who care, with the ones who want to listen to our grievances, and to those who can to be a reason of our smile.

Yes, we all desire for such people to exist in realism. And when we find this somebody, joy knows no bounds.

But alas, we have a problem…

When they say they want to be our strength, they lie… they only want us to become weak.
They become our prime weakness… something that we can hardly live without.
They become our daily dose to life and life devoid of them eventually means zilch… it means emptiness…

Ever seen a life without life?

Watch me …