A Deep Feeling ...

I remember when I started this blog ... I had someone great on my mind
... Khola Ma'am .. And I used to write in her remembrance ..
I felt she wasn't well and soon I heard about her ... and the disease
she was fighting her life with ... God took her away from me ...
Forever ...

And soon it drifted ... To someone who was equally nice and pretty
interesting ... And someone who made me realize what life is ...

So innocent... So sweet tongued ... That I could hardly resist talking
for hours ... About the little things, the little but strange feelings
... The thoughts that came right from the deepest corner of the heart
... The honest gestures ... And a tinge of crude thinking ...

And I ... Somehow used to get those strange flashes of thoughts about
their well being, their presence, every little thing ... Just like I
shared a common string of life with them ...

And at the moment I remember that festival of colors ... The dream I
had and exactly what happened the next day ... Every bit of it was
like a rewind of the dream ... And when they fell down upon the thorns
... My heart sinked, for I knew it was coming ... And I could have
done something ... And that they said I should have ...
But, in this ... I always found myself helpless ... Wish I could have
... If only ...

And today, when I know something's not good... The ship is not steady
... I am helpless once again ... I'm running about the lawn ... Up and
down ... Thinking .. Praying ... Yet, I'm supposed to mind my own
business ... I'm not allowed to think ... I'm not allowed to say ...
I'm not allowed to ask ...
I asked Him for a glimpse ...
He took them away from me ...
God made them walk away ... And I ... I'm helpless as always ...

--
hamza ..