Fathoming it deep...

There is a very extraordinary thing about this life..

The more you try to mine it deep, the more you see yourself still at

the surface...

Ever tried going down the memory lane of joy??

I'm sure nobody has ever done this... For it brings tears to the eye and lessens the

burden on our hearts which we don't want to release...

Pathetic, isn't it ??

The essential reason of a poignant smile is not about the present circumstances..

It is a combination of the past, the present and the future...

People, who counsel you to be glad about what you possess at present,

speak just ostensibly ... A disgustingly hard reality ...

Actually, every heart longs for that good past and wants to see the

future with a similar fate... And those who say their bad past isn't

something they lament ... They are wrong !! They lie ... !!

YES, they lie !!

The reality thus is, that we all want that state of inertia to prevail

in which we are the happiest... With our loved ones, with the ones we

care about, with the ones who care about us.. With the ones who listen

to us, with the ones who we want to hear from....

But the sad part is that...

Nobody cares

Nobody hears

Nobody stays

We were born with empty hands; we brought nothing with us...

And we shall return with nothing ...

We are mean animals,

After all, when we see people who are in more pain than us, don't we

feel relaxed that we are in a better state than them rather than

trying to be a reason to lessen their burden...

It's not that humanity has died,

It is that, humanity was as such, masqueraded, and only got revealed with time...

This is life... This is our life...

The Fathomed life ...

--
hamza ..

Failure...

The sphere of life is distended with lots of things. There are countless number of new entities that continuously add to our ever growing experience. New ideas tend to take birth in every mind, and over the course of time the urge to do something new always arises. And this is where the real test begins: “should I go for it or should I stop?”, “what if I failed?”, “what would others think if it didn’t work?”, “should I speak about this thing to somebody first?” etc. etc. The beginning itself of this new thing becomes shaky and this leads usually to failures.

It is observed that while our reactions to success are immediately positive, we sometimes have to cope with our failures before we can process them and move on. Coping with failure has sometimes been compared to coping with death, which means people sometimes seem to lose everything just because of this tiny hurdle thing to success called… “Failure”

Despite the fact that success and failure are antonyms, failure in every circumstance is not an antonym to success at all. Good books describe the opposite to success as “giving up”. In the normal perspective of an internet freak, being unsuccessful might mean if he does not get what he was trying to look for. But here I believe that “internet is a sea of resources, one only needs to bang the keyboard and fish out what is desired”. So being unsuccessful would mean giving up and not trying any further. This isn’t failure, is it?

When a baby begins learning how to walk, it doesn’t get it right on the very first instance. It is a gradual process. But it doesn’t give up having failed once, twice, thrice and so on… there actually is no track of how many attempts a baby requires when ot fully takes its first correct step. It is but natural to fall before a rise.

Learning is a gradually process and it takes time even for a genius to grasp everything. Being social people, accepting the fact that we have not been successful in something makes us feel embarrassed and this leads to aggravation. And this is not good for anyone. A setback if taken to heart produces cascading effects, which leads to believing in a very wrong conclusion that we are not fit to do the specified thing. And this conclusion usually arrives when it’s just a matter of time that a little more effort in the right direction might be it and success would arrive knocking at the door.

 Not all re-attempts are fruitful. Yet, the belief that they will can do wonders. A failed attempt is not to be looked upon as the last resort, but timely gearing up and a perfect frame of mind can prove productive. Once we have experienced the pain and disappointment that goes with not achieving something, we are also blessed with a deep sense of empathy towards others in distress.

Failing is by no means fun. It always remains as one of those viscerally painful emotions. But at the same time, it is also one of those enriching experiences that teach us some moral aspects of life like patience, modesty, pragmatism and compassion. 

Sometimes assuming the worst can be a shield to being unsuccessful. It actually does work in normal circumstances because whatever the outcome, with every eventuality it cannot be more than the worst that we are already in anticipation. But if we get anything better than this worst, it will always bring a sense of relief and peace to the soul.

With each of the failures that we might have had in life, we become stronger and stronger to face every grave situation and handle it prudently and in the right spirit.

 And now what makes the difference between an ordinary man and an extraordinary man. It is the amount of persistence that one shows towards the ambitions and a will to make them come true. Success doesn’t come to those who try to evade failures. It comes to those who don’t give up even if they fail in the attempt.

Actually failures are meant to make us the men of valor and to inculcate values so that we would be held high and not just successful individuals. Success is unfortunately attained but just once, but failures are actually countless that keep on adding to our experiences in life.

Face a hurdle here and expect being unsuccessful. If you succeed, you gain nothing but  a win; and if you lose, you gain everything but a win.

--
hamza ..

Want to Die...

how can i defy...
the hardest part, the lie...

it hurts when i see...
that i can't set myself free...

it's painful to believe...
that i'm left with no reason to live..

you came in when i never thought...
you left when you were all i sought...

seems just like yesterday...
words were so less, had so much to say...

i never knew that this pain would grow...
never thought my life would go so slow..

you said, it wasn't the way it should have...
was it not written, how else could it have ...

my mind asks me why, what made you think so..
when you meant the world, why did i let you go..

you ...

with every passing moment, every passing second .. i feel this
emptiness within me
it is something that i hardly can get out of of.. whenever i see
happiness, joy, i feel it's not for me at all..
just don't know what has happened to me ..
seems like i don't remember how to smile at all now ..

they say time heals all wounds...
but in my case, why is it that in whatever i do, i still feel hurt
inside .. it erupts every now and then ..
have just nothing to say to anyone ..
i just stop abruptly while i'm saying...
stop suddenly while i'm walking ...
the smile just fades away with every thought that comes to me..

emptiness was something i never had witnessed .. may be it is that ..
or may be it is the pain of the feeling that somebody who was or
rather is, very dear to me left me so suddenly that the trauma is
haunting me every second, every moment ...

i've begun talking to myself .. something i never ever had done all my life ...
wish you had never come into me ..
wish you never had sown seeds of trust ...
wish you never had said that you cared .

wish you never had made me smile ..
 wish you never had said i mattered ..

these things may be i would never be able to ask you ...
because now whenever i see you, it feels like i'm looking at a strange
someone ...

i'd never thought you would come into my life ... but you came ..
i'd never thought you would become a part of me ... but you became ..
i'd never thought you would do everything that i liked.. but you did ..
and when i had started believing that i had found someone who looked
as if was a mirror to me .. you left ..
you left ... you left ... you left .. you left .. you left .. you left ...
never to come back....

they say a tough man never cries ... i was one ... i was ...
but now look what you did to me ...
i just can't stop my tears ... i just can't ...
people call me mad ... call me names ...
yet they don't know what i'm going through ...
i would never ask you to stay forever ...
but what if you just stay for as long ...
i won't ask you to do anything stupid ..
but just don't leave like that ....
please .... please ...

O please ...

no star ever stays with the moon forever .. none does ..
it is all alone ... and will always remain alone ..
you are one of those stars ..
but till you're near ... i beg you to look down upon me with a little
sympathy..
a little sympathy ...

if only you're human ...

if only ...

The Little Steam Engine...

A little steam engine had a long train of cars to pull. She went along
very well till she came to a steep hill. But then, no matter how hard
shetried, she could not move the long train of cars. She pulled and
she pulled. She puffed and she puffed. She backed and started off
again. Choo! Choo! But no! The cars would not go up the hill.
At last she left the train and started up the track alone. Do you
think she had stopped working? No, indeed! She was going for help.
"Surely I can find someone to help me," she thought. Over the hill and
up the track went the little steam engine. Choo, choo, choo! Pretty
soon she saw a big steam engine standing on a side track. He looked
very big and strong. Running alongside, she looked up and said: "Will
you help me over the hill with my train of cars? It is so long and
heavy I can't get it over."
The big steam engine looked down at the little steam engine. Then he
said: "Don't you see that I am through my day's work? I have been
rubbed and scoured ready for my next run. No, I cannot help you." The
little steam engine was sorry, but she went on. Choo, choo, choo! Soon
she came to a second big steam engine standing on a side track. He was
puffing and puffing, as if he were tired. "That big steam engine may
help me," thought the little steam engine. She ran alongside and
asked: "Will you help me bring my train of cars over the hill? It is
so long and so heavy that I can't get it over." The second big steam
engine answered: "I have just come in from a long, long run. Don't you
see how tired I am? Can't you get some other engine to help you this
time?" "I'll try," said the little steam engine, and off she went.
Choo, choo, choo!
After a while she came to a little steam engine just like herself. She
ran alongside and said: "Will you help me over the hill with my train
of cars? It is so long and so heavy that I can't get it over." "Yes,
indeed!" said this little steam engine. "I'll be glad to help you, if
I can." So the little steam engines started back to where the train of
cars had been standing.
Both little steam engines went to the head of the train, one behind
the other. Puff, puff! Chug, choo! Off they started! Slowly the cars
began to move. Slowly they climbed the steep hill. As they climbed,
each little steam engine began to sing: "I-think-I-can! I-think-Ican!
I-think-I-can! I-think-I-can!..." And they did! Very soon they were
over the hill and going down the other side. Now they were on the
plain again; and the little steam engine could pull her train herself.
So she thanked the little engine who had come to help her, and said
goodbye. And she went merrily on her way, singing: "I-thought-I-could!
I-thought-I-could! I-thought-I-could!"

there are so many tasks in this world we can never do on our
own...time and again we require help from somebody special...but this
special has to be someone who is like you... for he who is not like
you, would never know what you're going through...


--
hamza .. :)

The basis ...

"Human beings are members of a whole
In creation of one essence and soul...

If one member is afflicted with pain
Other members uneasy will remain...

If you have no sympathy for human pain
Then name of human you cannot retain...."

--
hamza ..

The Virtue of being a Being...

O human, you are a being...
Your existence, is so precious..
O human, you exist, you sustain..
Your deeds are miraculous..

O human, you are a being..
You feel, what you feel..
O human, you expect, you express...
Your emotions are special...

O human, you are a being..
You desire, what should not be..
O human, you crave, you fall..
Your desires reach up to the forbidden..

O human, you are a being..
You smile, when you get to it..
O human, you forget, the end..
You believe you have, yet you haven't reached..

O human, you are a being..
You cry, when it ends..
O human, you lament, you kneel..
You want it back, what never existed..

O human, you are a being..
You beg, to go back..
O human, you stop, you turn..
To see a wall, you yourself made...

O human, you are a being..
You turn again, you wait..
O human, you wait, for nothing..
For what was, was; what is, is...

O human, little do you know..
That you chose, you moved..
O human, you did, but don't agree..
Instead of a straight path, you chose a curvy one...

O human, you are a being...
Bound to commit mistakes..
O human, but you must know..
Mistakes are a way, to reach to the righteous..

O human, you are a being..
Learning forever, learning forever..
O human, with each little mistake..
You step forwards, towards perfection..

--
hamza ..

At You...

I had begun
To live ... To live...
With you in me...
I had begun
To learn... To learn...
With you in me...
I had begun
To find peace... Peace...
With you in me...
I had begun
To learn how to smile...
With you in me...
I had begun
To understand myself...
With you in me...

And then you departed..
With everything..
Life has no meaning...
The smile has no reason...
There's no talking to you...
There's no peace inside..
There's no place to hide...
You walk past me...
You ignore my gesture...
I've lost my reason...
My tears too have abandoned ...

I try to stabilize...
I try to seek solitude..
I try ... I try ...

It's only a matter of time..
For you .. But for me..

When I see you...
Everything seems to stop...

My smile... My thoughts...
My mind... My heart ...

I just stop ...
Stop at you...

At you ...

--
hamza ..

The Storybook...

They say, everybody has a yarn to tell… everybody has a tale confined
within the ramparts of the heart..But little do they know that not
everyone has a story, not everyone has a tale…
Some people come and go and yet they have nothing to say, nothing to
hide, and nothing to prove… they just arrive into this world, breathe
and exit… This class of people has this inimitable trait that they
live and die; and the world by no means comes to know about their
existence…
And there is another class of people, who live and make the best out
of it… and this is the typical category of people… they have a unique
story about themselves.. a matchless, a different and an exceptional
story to tell… and it is this class that is usually gifted with the
potential to do great things…
But… there is another class of people who walk on this planet… a very
distinct and rare number of people… who do not do great things… who
don't want their presence felt… who don't wish for great feats under
their belt… yet, they become special… because of one good reason… And
that is…
"Their life is no story… Their life is a story book … and every page
of it has a different story to tell …"

--
hamza ..

The Last Resort...

They seem like a dream... the recent course of events...

Never did I know that this Divine, wanted to shower the joy He had in
store for me all at once...

that I get what I desired so that I could never ask anything from Him
ever was what He wrote my fate...

Little did I know, that the joy He had for me was merely for the
shortest duration... The sun above me was there for the last time in
my life...

The bright days are gone, the light has extinguished...

The smile has faded, so has the beat...

The feeling ends... and so... does my life...

--
hamza ..

The Smiling Moon...

It is said that the moon brings fate along for everyone alike…
It is a good omen for some and a bad omen for others… but yes, it does
bring it alike to everyone…
So what actually makes the difference??
It lies in the fate itself…

Actually everybody's fate is related… This means that fate is supposed
to be relative in nature…
For instance, it can be the fate of two businessmen… the fortune of
one can prove a stab in the belly for the other… or it can be like
that of an exam, where if one doesn't top the charts makes someone
else do it…

Fate is thus a relative concept… which decides who will flourish and when…

But this Mr. Moon knows it all … it carries with it, everyone's future…

The faces it makes each night explain what actually will happen in the
near future… and do we ever pay attention to it???
the answer is No .. a big NO …

And yet, when we do pay a heed to it… it explains every story… in the
proper format, in an apt flow…

And when this Mr. Moon suddenly disappears from scene… we should infer
that something is not going as desired and some detail from our lives
is missing…
If we try and make amends and get to know what this missing thing is,
we will get him back right there, smiling at us the very next night …

Finally, we will have him in the proper charm… in proper fervor…
But, first the priority should be try and break the painful dark night
and expect a morning whose night would be enlightened with this
smiling moon…

--
hamza ..

Each Day, I die A Little Inside...

It's going to take a while…
Just to feel this sunlight on my skin…
Because I've been hiding in the darkness…
Behind a door that no one gets to come in…
And I'm not sleeping …

It's going to take a while just to notice …
This empty space by my side …
Because I've been dwelling on something…
And struggling to find some air to keep alive…
And I'm not sleeping because of you …

I've been dying to know what's on your mind…
10 days, and I've been dying to hear your voice…

It's going to take a while just to take it in…
Because everything's moving so fast …
It's going to take a while just to break you in…
And I've been hoping that this love was built to last…
And I'm not sleeping because of you…

And if I had a choice…
I'd make some noise so the world could hear me…
Could they hear me now that my feet are on the ground??
And I'm wide awake, I'm wide awake tonight…

I've been dying to know what's on your mind…
10 days, and I've been dying to hear your voice…
And I'm not sleeping...  anymore…

--
hamza ...

If Only ...

If only you saw what I can see...

You'll understand why I want you so desperately... 

Life-Shifting...

One of the most difficult aspects of "Life-Shifting" is letting go of an identity to which we have become accustomed, even attached... It feels like death... Not the real thing, perhaps, but in the moment, pretty darned close... 

Truth is, we like to KNOW who we are at any given moment; we like to be comfortable with the role we are playing, and especially as humans, we desire to fulfill our desires desirously... Surely, this is true for many reasons, but one of the main ones, I think, is that making room for a new identity requires us to let go of an old one... And letting go in many ways resembles the experience of death... Even if it is just a little death, as Stephen Sondheim sings, "It is death nonetheless... Painful... Sad... Hard..."

But very necessary... How else can we welcome in the sense of possibility, the energy of creativity and spontaneity, if we don't step off the comfortable plateaus of identity that we build for ourselves? Sure, in moments when life suddenly shifts and doors open to new possibilities, it can feel exhilarating and fresh... But it can also feel terrifying and frightening, as we step out of our known frames of reference and dangle precariously in the unknown...

There are instances when we feel dejected and alone … when we find nothing as perfect and hopeful as it was sometime ago … there are times when we decide on giving in to the ambitions, and suddenly decide to give up on them … there are moments when we realise that being silent over an issue is better than to speak up and make them worse… there are moments when we stumble upon our own words and lose on our identity for the sake of that one soul …

We do a lot … a lot … and everything to just make things work… get the tough going … just to realise in the end that what we are upto… does not exist…

The life … halts again … but this time, it is not the one who you wished to be guided by… it is who you wished to enlighten your way… a death of your hope …

Life still has a long way to go … but at the moment, the road is engulfed by the darkest of times… while we sit in anticipation … 

--

hamza ..

Someone Quoted ...

never ask, never presume, never anticipate ...

you are unique in yourself ...

every tear is just so priceless ...

lament little for even the slightest thing ..

because,

 

hoplessly, the hope is that ..

we have so much to feel good about ...

 

--
hamza ..

Teardrops...

The eyes will show it all .... 

what the words could never describe ... 

The depth of this pain will be visible ... 

when you look into them for once ... 

The eyes, yes they have dried ... 

for they have lost ... and endlessly cried ... 

If only you could come back for once... 

how i wish i never had let you go ... 

Wish you could see what i have done to me... 

if only you could ... if only ... if only .... 

--

hamza ..

Stranded...

You left me when i needed you the most.. when i left everyone for you...

You left me stranded .. took away my only hope for existence ... 

but when i see you smile now.. I feel you did right ... 

because you had to move on... you had to move on ... 

It's only just not even once did you realise... 

that i'm still there where you left me ... 

helpless and ... alone ....

 

Upshot ...

The beauty of your life lies in imparting peace to them,

while proffering to take their anguish in return...

--

hamza ..

Silence ...

What is silence??? And what is our connection with it???
Silence could have a different meaning for different human beings...
While to a child it could mean minimum of noise that doesn't break Mom's
disturbance barrier, to a mother silence becomes urgency, difficult to
maintain as she goes about her daily chores over the sleeping
infant... Between lovers silence could vary from an affectionate
communion to going speechless with emotion over inability to express
their hurt... In couples it could mean a sulky standoff or a cold war
or a mutual understanding as they feel totally at ease in

togetherness... To a warrior or a soldier, silence could be both a
premonition of a looming attack and a truce with the enemy...
Is silence mere noiselessness???
Can absence of noise be called silence???
When a teacher raps her class to hush and says, "Silence, please!"
Does she mean silence or merely asks them to sit quiet???
There have been times when I have encountered silence in the
disturbingly chirpy sounds of birds at dusk...
There were moments when I glimpsed deep silence among the blaring
horns of the rush hour traffic in the Capital...
Ever heard the silence in a musical note???
Silence, it appears, has no persona of its own except what one's mind
gives it...
Thus we have bestowed many adjectives on silence... Stony silence,
disturbing silence, deathly silence, impregnable silence, hushed
silence, pregnant silence, musical silence…
But this is only in the material world... When we rise above the
earthly silence, we move towards a silence that needs no adjectives...
It is just silence—deep, enriching, absolute... This silence alone has
meaning, where one becomes silence itself... Rest all becomes
redundant...
It is amazing how eloquent could silence be...
And humans, it seems, have an intimate connection with it...
It keeps coming to us in many mysterious ways... Somewhere deep down,
in the farthest recesses of our consciousness, we have a deep
connection with it...
We are unable to understand it or reach it, probably because between
silence and us we have erected multi-dimensional walls...
We almost try to deny silence, which is the core of our being, even defy it...
In fact, most of us seem to be quite comfortable with noise...
We seem to fight silence… and even defeat it…
For don't we announce our arrival in this world with a loud, piercing
wail...???

--
hamza ..

Irony ...

And look at this ...

Something is just a few yards away ....
and i'm not allowed to have a glimpse...

Something is just a dial away ...
and i'm not allowed to make it ...

Something is right within me ..
and i'm not allowed to touch it ..

Something is within my eyes ...
and i'm just allowed to drop a tear ...

no matter how much i try to be there...
Something still abandons me at will ... 

This Road ...

Ever wondered as to why we cover only the distances and never displacements ???

Right now, I walk this lonely road .. with my eyes all glued to the

farthest spot that I can see ..

There is this wild grass, weeds that block my sight beyond ... It's the

onset of yet another beautiful winter and everything aronud me has

somewhat been baked to golden-brown shreds ...

The air seems to be blessed with a strange silence and it is it's

movement in these tall bushes that produces a strange sound ...

Everything around seems calm and in utter 

meditation ... Something, that I had never experienced before ....

and this reminds me of this

very point that has always haunted me ...

Distance or Displacement ??

It is actually distance that we cover yet to accomplish a shorter

thing ... the displacement ...

And what makes us do that ??

The human psychology states that, "quick and easy things are never

acceptable to the brain."

This means, that our brain calculates the amount of effort required to

accomplish a job quite early and if something comes before time, it

seems unacceptable ...

Until we strive for something, we don't find satisfaction ... and

making it correct after completely screwing it up makes us feel

content...

The rule of life,

"What comes easy is never what is required" seems to have taken every

soul for a ride... and in this we put in more than what is required !

Displacement is the straightest possible way to obtain/ accomplish

something but.....

We still choose the distance ...

Because, life itself has bends and we never know what lies behind that

bend that we percieve ...

--

hamza ..

It hurts more ...

It actually makes things worse inside ... when you are pretending to
behave opposite to what you actually feel ... when you cannot break
out of what silently binds you ...
Its impossible ...

--
hamza ..

Broken Pieces ...

Ever seen a cat nurturing its kitten ???? Not only is it soothing to
the eyes, it brings warmth within that we too are caressed and looked
after by the dearest ones around ...

it's a tremendous feeling to have that people care, for us... and the
heart melts away to pave way for these people in...

this little thing that we hold inside our mediastenum, the thing
called 'heart' knows just two feelings ... One being the warmth when
it lets people in, and the other being the sink when someone tears it
apart to leave ...

This means that the passageway to the heart is a one way ride ... You
can come in with ease, but you can leave only if you break it away ...

and while the stay within it can get you all, the exit will leave the
bearer moaning in an endless pain ...

so be nice, for those who let you in... and even more nice to those
who don't let you in... Yet, when you get in, don't break it ...
for heaven's sake ...

because...

"broken hands can work, but broken hearts can't..."

--
hamza ..

Decisions...

What on earth do people make decisions on and for ??? Why do they take
improbabilities and impossibilties into account before deciding on
something ?? How can people fall on a certain limitation too early in
life even when they know it can be better ??????????

These questions remain unanswered for every single soul that has been
under the fate and result of those hard decisions...
Decisions !! something that make us choose between what's wrong and
what's right; between what's good and what's better; between what's
correct and what's perfect; and most importantly between what is and
what is not ...!

Every little decision a human mind takes depends upon the state of
mind and a little thinking over the outcome for the near future...
This is the mindset every living thing that exists on this planet...
Consider the Migratory Birds for instance.... The decision that they
take to cover hundreds of miles and fly down south during winters is a
decision based on the reason of their survival... Something that is
required to keep them alive during the hard phase.... leaving their
beloved niche behind, just in search of warmer places ... A priority
based decision for life !!

Similarly, if the carnivores decide upon giving up feeding on the
lower herbivores for survival and move to a herbivorous instinct can
be a fatal one on their part.... The bacteria required to digest
cellulose is found only in herbivores which can never be harnessed and
possessed by the carnivores which will mean they cannot survive
without them feeding on carbohydrate products...

Decisions thus are prioritised and people decide on a thing only and
only on their priorities over the issue... A decision that is a hard
one to hear, is easy to make; while a decision which is easier to
digest is the most difficult to make...

The rule of the land is that we only take up a thing based on what our
mind prioritizes it into, and follow our instinct to reach a logical
conclusion; no matter what it might lead other people into...

A decision is a perfect decision only if the heart and mind
synchronise over it... And if not, going with the heart alone could be
emotional and going with the brain alone could be logical...
The emotional one though prioritized usually easy, is actually taken
considering the interest of others ... while, a logical decision which
is typically hard to take, is relativley more in the interest of the
decision creator and ........ *crying* ... the axe always falls on the
one who bears the decision ...

Someone's priorities over a thing become ultimately nothing just for
those hasteful decisions which the others take....

And with this while they think they'll get back on track, they make
this other lose the track forever...

And while they show beautiful things for a while, finally abandon them
forever ...

The Fact of Life...

Once Everything, Now Nothing...

--
hamza ..

...

The Silence that spreads seems colourless...
The world around seems all so empty,

The heart is all so heavy from within...
The eyes somehow have endless tears to spill,

Nobody seems to understand what i hold within...
Nobody seems to get whatever i try to convey,

Whenever i go through the happenings of this past...
I find a pearl emitted rolling along the cheek,

So many words said, so little to trust...
Never had i thought that it would all be an illusion,

The care, the tears now that all seem so fake...
Little does anyone know that i cry for real,

The beautiful times that just lived by...
Now all seem to have faded through with time,

Wrapped within were some secrets in me...
I regret I regret as to with whom I shared,

The era of that smile now seems so blurred...
And now even a glimpse will seem a dishonest one,

Helpless as now I stand with nothing to look upon...
I still wonder what else could I do to make it happen,

Everything I did seems so little now for it,
The thing I longed for seems all but never achievable...

And since
It all started with me, so will end with me,
Till then, my every tear will send blessings upon them...

--
hamza ..

Another Reality ...

when somebody comes in, everybody comes in...
but when one goes out, everyone goes out ...

people move in herds ... it's just part of life ...
lonliness is the only reality, rest is an illusion...

--
hamza ..

Bottom Line ...

The elixir of patience can gradually flush even the toughest of berms...

--
hamza .. :))

Unrest ...

The beginning of every desirous thing is miraculously beautiful ... It
is good to see things that we anticipate to happen, actually happen...
It enlivens us and seems to aggrandize every little aspect of this
special thought...

Nothing seems interesting after this little thing has begun to take
shape and grow... And to nurture its very existence becomes ones
prime importance... The experience of seeing ones dream turn to
reality is the last resort for anyone who has ever dreamt a thing ...

But the beauty of a tree lies not entirely in its growth ... It also
lies in the fate it will face ... If this tree does not bear fruit,
the cultivator as well as the tree would remain devoid of the very
reason of its development ... And if it does produce beautifully
colored flowers and consequently the sweetest of fruits, nothing could
be made to stand in comparison to such a thing...

We the humans... We are desirous of many things in our lifetime ...
Some get fulfilled and some just remain desires forever... And such
unfulfilled desires don't die down with age... They grow and become
motives ... Attaining them gets the highest priority for a strong
willed man...

There are not many who have attained their desires and there are many
who have lost their reasons in the quest ... But the will never dies
...

Until this desire is procured, the mind continues to process ways to
pull it off... A state called "unrest"...

It is the most dangerous feeling any man has ...
And this unrest is the reason why people begin to lose their reason ...

--
hamza .. :))

Phases of life...

There was a time when life was just life...

There were moments we wanted to stop forever...
There were days we cherish and long for....

Life was a pretty big bowl of roses to pick from...
Life was a basket of joy and emotions to choose from...

Every second that we spent, was a second so beautiful..
Every moment that passed along smiled along upon us...

Priorities remained little, everything was spontaneous ...
We lived life in a bliss of the spot thoughts...

But nothing remains forever in our hand...
Its like sand slipping continuously through...

We were alone , and will always be...
Rest is just an illusion, a method set by Him...

To remember and cherish all the good times ...
In the times when nothing goes good...

Until,
Life again becomes life...

--
hamza .. :))

Thoughts without Conclusions...

this world stands on some pillars.. pillars that define everything ..
there's not a bit that is not defined, not an inch that has not been
predetermined..
and there's everything that is fixed to some rules ..
rules we can never ever dare to break or append..
life is just so bound in these rules that we find no way out for the
salvation of our souls and our desires..
this is what we call .. worldliness ... a human guideline ...
sometimes we wish to attain things out of these bounds...
a mistake ... a terrible mistake on our part ...
even when we know the answer to such things, we still desire for it ...
it is human nature to go against the rule of the land ..
did Adam not go against His will ..
did he not have what was restricted for him ...
the answer is in itself a question ..

"forbidden fruit is the sweetest.." ...

in this case ... an apple...

an apple on a table actually happens to be 

anyone's who gets it first ..

but no... when it is meant for someone else ... 

it can never be yours ..

but the desire for this forbidden apple 

becomes graver and graver as

the time arrives for it to go...

it is a terrible thing to believe that what could've been ours, had we strived to get it.. is no more in sight...

helpless as we see it go to someone else ...
life plays a game with everyone ... showing a thing and giving
something else ..
it's more like an online retail shop .. that says .. "Pictures shown
are models, actual model may vary from the one shown."
true ....
doesn't this define life ..
the more we try and understand it .. the more it becomes complex ..
this is life ... a picture within a picture within a picture ...
within a picture ...

--
hamza ..

A Befitting Proverb...

in kashmiri it is said ..."yem' kor aar su gav khaar."
which means .. the one who showed compassion, was ruined....
so true in every bit of it ...
whenever you do good and try and be nice to people, they get over you.
it's a fact... a wonderful fact...
do not get angry ... do not be impatient ..
but show no mercy... when dealing with people...
this is how you get the best of others .. even in your worst....

--
hamza ..

The Local Travel...

Once someone was quoted as saying, "There's always a first time, a
firsthand experience of everything."

You always and everyday do something that is out-of-routine that keeps
on adding tiny pieces of experience to your ever growing life. People
who say that old people are highly experienced aren't wrong. We do
gain new knowledge about this life with every moment that sees us
through.

Coming back to the topic...
today as it is a fresh day in everybody's life, it is another fresh
experience in my life...

Life In A Local Travel...

In the beginning, I had this mutually governed transport at my
disposal. Happy days as they were, everything was perfectly in
synchronisation. There was a time when I always anticipated going in
that vehicle... the jolliest and the brightest looking thing, because
of those hearty creatures.
There were pranks, jokes, smiles, laughter and every other emotion we
know of. It was a happy travel.
But as I always say, "happy moments do not last long."
One day it had to end...
And so it did...
Parting ways is the least interesting thing we can ever talk about and
so I'll not.
Now as I sit here in this not-so-familiar vehicle, I find nothing
interesting. I never thought I'd share my seat with someone other than
my friends, my hearts ... but now I shared it with 16 different
people...
It wasn't long before when I used think of the pleasant smiles and
laughter unlimited as the reason for boarding that vehicle. But people
here board this vehicle just to reach their destination.
And is this not what I'm doing now too...?

There is no feeling ... no emotion ... no expression...

All I know is that I sit… amongst strangers ...

With my heart still amongst those who I was once proud to say that
they were mine...

time changes yet so quickly ... Strange ...

--
hamza ..

Perspective ...

Sometimes, even In the best of intentions ...
the Divine doesn't provide us the required...
And accepting this fact at the earliest is better...
Because what hurts little now, can become incurable later...

--
hamza .. :))

take that...

Just have a little patience
I'm still hurting from a love I lost
I'm feeling your frustration
Any minute all the pain will stop.

Just hold me close inside your arms tonight
Don't be too hard on my emotions.

'Cause I
Need time
My heart is numb, has no feeling
So while I'm still healing
Just try and have a little patience.

I really wanna start over again
I know you wanna be my salvation
The one that I can always depend.

I'll try to be strong
Believe me I'm trying to move on
It's complicated but understand me.

'Cause the scars run so deep
It's been hard but I have to believe
Just have a little patience

Just have a little patience
My heart is numb, has no feeling
So while I'm still healing
Just try and have a little patience

--
hamza ..

Silence...

Beneath all speech that is good for anything, there lies a silence
that is superior.
Silence is profound as Eternity; Speech is shallow as Time.

--
hamza ..

Caring...

there was this elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife. Upon
seeing the man cry, a four year old child from his neighborhood tried
a unique way to show his care and this is what he did.
"he went into the old gentleman's yard, walked upto him, climbed onto
his lap, and just sat there."
When his Mother asked him what he had said to the neighbor, the little
boy said, "Nothing, I just helped him cry."

emotions are actually such delicate things...
not always do we find a way to make someone feel better...
sometimes making someone cry can soothe them of their burden too...

--
hamza ..

Write ups ...

"An unread book doesn't do good to anyone. Stories ensue within the
wits of a reader, not amid the typescript printed on a page."

--
hamza ..

Just Have Faith...

"Only if you have existence and gasp, have faith... Have faith for
those who cannot.. Have faith albeit you have stopped believing...
Have faith for the sake of the departed, for love, to keep your heart
thumping, have faith... Never give up, never despair, and let no
secrecy perplex you to a conclusion that mystery can't be yours..."
--
hamza ..

The thing called conscience...

Ever gone through this circumstance when you are required to keep your
lips shut and you still keep on trickling out words...?
There are actually two basic conditions which make us do these things.
One when you're unable to hang up your antagonism and the other, when
you show pointlessly too much of care. And both of them deplete you
off your self-esteem and way of life. It is said that one must try and
ignore things that they know would lead them to both anger and
disparagement.
Actually everybody knows what makes them angry. This is one such thing
that should be evaded as much as we can. Anger leads to abhorrence and
we all know what hatred has led people to, in the epic history of this
world. An angry man is like a black sheet of paper. Whatever we try to
write on it, would disappear from sight eventually though it still
exists there and it would only be visible, with the gradual course of
time, when we face it to the sun at some particular slant, at some
particular position. But, this will only be realised, when the anger
is already done with its obliteration.
But anger can be handled by just one antonymic act... Silence ... the
golden thing that would remain visible even on that dark sheet.
The other condition is what we call the Superfluous Care. Everybody
faces this, and not just once but, inestimable number of times in a
lifetime. It begins when others rely on you for a diminutive thing and
you begin to believe that you are their eventual caretakers. A
feeling, that brings a smile on your face and countless number of
thoughts in your mind.
Human beings are one of a kind. The ones we love, we love incessantly
and the ones we hate, we hate nonetheless as much.
We show concern for the ones who we believe are ours and put across
whatever they ask for. We believe they live in our hearts (though we
know practically that our hearts contain only blood; idiots as we
are!!).
We put in all efforts to make them realise that we care, just for that
little smile on their face, irrespective of what the consequences that
our effort, the act, might lead us into. But, we do not realise this
unless they slam this statement of ignorance and ill behavior. They
start behaving like they could control every action of ours,
"Ascendancy" as we call it. And why should they not...? Isn't this
what every human being craves a lot about...?
We all are humans and we all do have faced this, sometimes being at
the giving end and sometimes at the receiving end. We have...
Let's put an end to this ... Let's listen to our conscience that we
usually slaughter for both anger and stupid care...
Let's care for the ones who altruistically care for us and noiselessly
slam the door on those who desire supremacy...
This is how we will attain what, beyond doubt, is ours and live this
little life contentedly and in the warmth of that love and affection
we only dream about...
And there will be life ... in bliss...

--
hamza ..

The Happy Man ...

it was said it is a myth ..
to see a happy man ever ..
he's born with tears ..
the agony and pain he knows ...
he grows with a burden ...
to carry his life, his life with others ..
he works and works and works hard ..
and works and works and works even harder ...
to earn to earn to live ...
to sustain his life and everyone in it ...
he grows and grows to marry one day ...
just with a thought that the burden would be shared ...
lest he knows what he's to percieve ..
another person, another burden in addition ...
to carry along, all his life ..
and some people say, even hereafter ...
and this spree of sadness ....
does never die although he dies ..
so a happy man is a myth ...
a myth .. a myth .. a myth ...

--
hamza ..

The Three Old Men ...

Ever thought what's going on inside this mind that has thought
endlessly for over a half a dozen decades; those eyes, what they
percieve after having seen this world almost completely; the soul that
is so immersed in the tie between this material world and the
hereafter.
As I sat in this public park, I somehow, though I most often ignore
paying heed, overheard a conversation between these three elderly
people. All of them unaware of each other. This happened to be their
first meeting together though I could make out that the one wearing a
turban (Nehru type) and the one with a brahmin look seemingly were
familiar to one another.
And here they discussed every sphere of life. The ups and downs each
one had faced. It was strange that they were curious to know each
others fate, evident enough from the attention that the other two paid
when one of them would speak.
But actually what fascinated me was the last part of their discussion.
It was the brahmin who raised the topic of how he met his wife and how
he fell in love with her. The hardships he had faced to attain her and
what hurdles he overcame in the quest. He began with a quote, lovely
lyrics of a lovely song sung by kishore kumar, " aisa koi saathi ho,
aisa koi premi ho; pyaas dil ki bhuja jaaye..."
With this song, which happens to fascinate me too, I sensed a sudden
flush of interest in their conversation.
As he enjoyed his tale oration, I could feel every bit of it. He
enunciated that he fell in love with a muslim girl, swearing that he
never would touch her, proving his honest love and righteous feelings
for her.
It was a perfect tale with every bit of emotion attached. The british
court laid the foundation of their marriage when they had to face
opposition from the two sections of the society. And as soon as he
spoke of his marriage, I could feel the smile and joy on his otherwise
wrinkly and old looking face.
But his married life could last only two years. She gave birth to a
baby boy and left for the heaven abode. This man thus survived by a
lone son. And then, he began telling about his hardships and ill fates
that compelled him to part himself from his son.
He left his son in an orphanage, to grow up, while he worked day and
night for him.
And with a sob, he declared as to how his son denied him when he went
back to take him, with his last statement being that his son is now a
very rich man, and still hasn't accepted him, though he sits in this
very park everyday just to have that one glimpse of his son who takes
a walk each day in this park.
Finally, the sob just disappears into a smile as a very fat figure
walks by ... his son ...
love just can't finish off as easily...
Its divine ... and will always remain divine...
#truestory

--
hamza ..

The Basis...

"Human beings are members of a whole
In creation of one essence and soul...
If one member is afflicted with pain
Other members uneasy will remain...
If you have no sympathy for human pain
Then name of human you cannot retain...."
--
hamza .. :)

A Wish ...

wish death could solve all problems ..

wish everything finished in one  go ... 

life seems so tiring sometimes .. 

wonder how death would taste like .. 

they say it's just a touch and a go .. 

but would it hurt to leave the worries behind .. 

after all we love worries .. 

we cannot live without them ... 

a happy life is a myth ... 

a happy death .. unknown ....

--

hamza .. :(