Lost Tides ..

If at all hopes meant success .. We would all have reached that
logical ends to the things we keenly are in pursuit of ...

If only there was a way to make that abstract goal materialize .. We
would have lived in cosmos and utopia ..

There's so much we pursue.. So much we perceive .. But so less that
seeps through and out from the imagination into the skin of reality
...

There's just too much of anticipation .. For those little ambitions ..
For those feeble ideas ... For those broken dreams ..

For that one soulful life, that we all want ...

There's just so little contentedness... And too much of mourning for
these Life goals unachieved .. Dreams dead before the eyes ...

A broken reality ...

--
hamza ..

And Again ..

How I wish I could get him back .. The one who I used to be ..

How I wish I could make amends to the broken legacy that I made ..

How I wish I could undo the done .. The things that I'm not known of
.. Things I never thought I'd do ..

How I wish I could get him back .. The one who was alive .. Who was
real .. The one who had powers to abstain and understand .. Powers to
foresee and foretell .. Powers to explain the things that had no
explanations..
How I wish I could bring back the respect for that pious one who I've
defamed ..

How I wish I could be who I was .. Be who I used to be
.. Be who I'm known for ..

Patient and Silent ..

I wish ..

--
hamza ..

Reminiscence ..

And while you're trying to keep yourself thoroughly busy with
nothingness .. You're actually trying to run away from that real truth
.. That you're missing those you are fond of ..

You'll be all occupied to the fun that's happening around .. Yet your
soul would still be stuck up with the thoughts of the loved ones ..
Friends .. Family .. Life .. Everything ..

And this I realized .. Now .. For even when I'm occupied in my world
.. My soul is drifting astray .. In all directions .. Searching ..
Waiting ...

And why do I wait .. When I know Im at fault ..

But its really imposs to go without those people ..

Befits ..

"mujh ko jinhone qatl kiya tha .. Koi unhe batlaye nazir ..
Meri laash ke pehlu me .. Vo apna khanjar bhool gaye .. "

Dead yet Breathing ..


--
hamza ..

Thoughts ..

And then where do we come back when we have nothing in hand ..
Our Notebook ..

Having missed out on a larger part of the story, I have finally come
back to where I belong .. The thing that will nevet leave me .. To a
friend who always has been next to me ..
Writing ..

Last year was a happening one .. Moments that I will never forget ..
Things that I'll never want to give up ..
January to March .. A quarter full of travel ..
March to June .. A company that was amazing .. Real friends, and an
amazing time ..
July to september .. Months of joy and solitude and peace and bliss
and togetheress and tears and laughter and silence and life ..
October to December .. The weakening of consciences, the loosening of
bonds, the closing in of satan, the uprooting of a sacred and pious
relation ..
January to March .. The way the things went, eventually gave way to
hatred for me .. And I deserve it .. I deserve to be hated .. As of
now, yes I deserve it ..

As I go back home today morning .. I realise how lost I am, how empty
I am to the world around .. I am not who I used to be .. I am not what
I once was ..

A year or two, they say, will change you completely .. Completely for
the better ..
But here the situation seems otherwise ..
Am I still me ? No .. I guess I'm not ..
Then who am I .. What am I .. ? For that I just remember this ..
" I walk around in search something ..
I walk aroung searching for me ... "

--
hamza ..